The Diary of an RP Noob
by Naililei Shiremar
Summary: A level ninety draenei priest joins the guild Guards of the Moon. She must learn how to RP from scratch, but luckily she has her guildies and some helpful strangers to help her!


The Diary of an RP Noob

Chapter One: A Noob

With Goldshire becoming steadily more visible from down the road, the approaching group dismounted.

This approaching group was the guild, 'Guards of the Moon'. It consisted so far of two draenei, two blood elves, two night elves, two horde pandaren, one undead, and one human.

One of the draenei was nervous and rather jumpy the closer they got. On closer inspection anybody could discern she was a very, very high level priest, and had probably been a ton of places.

The one blood elf, a death knight named Korleigh, took the draenei by the hand and tugged her closer to the city, not that she actually moved the priest, but it was the thought that counted, right?

"C'mon, Nai. It'll be fun!"

"If you say so..."

Yet she'd never once RPd, never in her whole life. When her guild had scooped her up, she'd accepted their proposition to learn how to RP. So here she was.

She unleashed her blue war Elekk and let it run off into the woods, fingering the whistle nervously before putting on the cloak the guild leader, Keliene, tossed to her.

The assistant guild leader, Korleigh, who was Keliene's sister, dismounted her Deathcharger and walked over to her, looping an arm around her shoulders and steering her towards Goldshire.

"You'll be fine Nei. It's not as bad as your mind makes it sound, and there's tons of nice people, even new friends, that you can make from it. Besides, it's fun!"

The draenei looked a little bit more relieved than before, some of the tension bleeding out of her body and dissipating into the air. She sighed.

"I hope so, Kor. But you've never told a lie to me, so I believe you. Now how do we do the whole 'entrance' thingy?"

The death knight straightened. "Well, we use these cloaks so no one knows who we are, and then we go to the rooms on the upper floors of the inn and get dressed. Some of the dressing rooms, namely the makeup parts of them, are connected to other rooms, so other people might see you before you go out, but usually only females use the makeup room."

"That sounds easy. And you guys'll be right next to me, right?"

"Right."

Naililei walked into the dressing room lobby. Since it was fairly late, almost no one was there. Almost.

"I don't have anything to wear..."she mumbled to herself as she did a mental check of her inventory.

A worgen across the room turned in her seat. "You a noob?"

Naililei sighed. "Yeah."

"Here." The worgen tossed a burlap sack over to her. "Some gear I was getting ready to give away. If you can use it, use it."

"Thank you, Miss...?"

"Rudithy. Rudithy Shadowclaw."

Korleigh grabbed her by the hand and escorted her to the dressing rooms themselves. "There ya go! Meet me in the lobby."

"Okay..." muttered the priest as she locked the door before stripping down to nothing.

Korleigh laughed. "Ha! That's good!"

Soletine, the worgen balance druid she'd been talking to, smiled. "Yeah. We did a lot of joking during the invasion. Something about morale."

"Makes sense, but what I don't get is-hey, what're you staring at?"

The death knight turned to look at the hallway behind herself. Her jaw dropped. "Whoa."

Naililei froze. "What'd I do wrong? Is it bad? Should I go get a different costume?"

Soletine picked up her jaw from the floor. "Girl, you are drop-dead gorgeous."

Naililei was decked out as a dragonkin. Her horns were decorated with metal bands and gems, while her body was covered in a partially skin-tight emerald-scaled robe with a silver metal belt and bracers. Her fingers were bare, exposing her one ring with an emerald set in it.

All in all, she was gorgeous even to a straight woman. Which was good, right? I think?

Anyway, it was at this time that Thirasha walked into the lobby, clad in nothing but her guild tabard and a pair of very, very short black shorts, along with a short, well-crafted dirk strapped to her side, just barely peeking out from under the tabard.

The guild tabard for the Guards of the Moon members was black, with a white crescent moon on a blue shield. The trimming on the tabard was the same color blue as the shield. It offset Thirasha's brown pigtails quite nicely.

"Whoa, is that Naililei?"

Korleigh smiled and nodded. "Yup. Let's hit the floor, shall we girls?"

Soletine raised a paw. "Is it all right if I tag along with you guys? I don't know about you, but safety in numbers is sounding pretty good right now."

And so, they all walked out into the swarming anthill that was Goldshire on a Friday night, more specifically Goldshire at nine PM on a Friday night.

"Yeah!" Careldia yelled as Patakka took down another challenger. The pandaren had been getting lots of duel requests, and the dual-wield fury warrior hadn't turned down or lost a single one of them yet. She truly was an excellent warrior.

She was dressed as a Stormwind Guard, with her long ears poking out of the custom-made helmet.

Her breastplate had some neck and chest skin showing, however, and really wouldn't protect her all that much in an actual fight against a skilled opponent.

Her metal gloves went up to right past her elbows, while the modified boots went up just past her knees. She had plate shorts as well, leaving some leg skin showing.

Pivoting at the tap on her shoulder, she came face-to-face with a fairly sober-looking blood elf male. He had the standard green eyes, along with a fairly common style that his blonde hair was in, and the average face for a blood elf. That is to say, he was extremely handsome.

He was dressed as a Stormwind guard like herself, except with little skin showing. In fact, the only skin that was visible was his face, and that was because he had no helmet.

Her RP senses tingled. He would be a great guy for the night, she was sure.

Surely enough, he bowed low to her. "Lieutenant?"

She grinned coyly. "Yes, Commander?"

"May I have this dance?" He held out a metal-plated hand.

She daintily accepted it. "Of course, Commander."

She smiled behind the visor as her nightly catch led her onto the dance floor, beginning a slow waltz. It was gonna be a great night.

Naililei shyly scuffed her hoof as the night elf complimented her. "Oh, you're too kind."

But the tuxedo-clad night elf wouldn't be deterred. "No, really, you're the most beautiful woman I've seen come out that door all night!"

She blushed. "Thank you, sir. But really, I have to find my friends. A pair of Dark Rangers, the Tabard Lady, a Stormwind guard, a Sentinel, and two pandaren warrior twins."

He blinked. "Okay. Have a wonderful evening, madame."

And with that, he glided away across the Lion's Pride Inn's bar floor.

Nai sighed. "Phew. Now, about Thirasha..." she turned a three-sixty, looking for the elusive 'Tabard Lady'.

Nope, nope, nope, nope, nop-there! There she was, talking to Careldia. Naililei clopped closer to the trio, noticing abruptly the Stormwind guard had a male counterpart, a blood elf, standing next to her.

"Huh?" she muttered to herself, getting closer and closer until she was a fourth part of the conversation. Thirasha was halfway through a goodbye when a broken bottle hit Naililei in the side of the face, exploding and spraying glass all over the priest.

The draenei fell over onto her side, and saw a fuzzy scene. The top hat-wearing druid from earlier marched over to an obnoxious group of males, a mix of dwarves, trolls, gnomes, goblins, and orcs, with a human or draenei here and there, and started yelling.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL COMPELLED YOU TO DO THAT?"

One of the orcs turned to her. "Because, sweetie, we do what we want, and who we want, and we get away with it."

Worg eyes narrowed. She howled, and in her place stood a bear. To clarify, a very large, very tough, very pissed off bear.

"Happy fun time!" Careldia sang as she jumped to defend her injured friend, who was healing herself, assisted by a paladin who was casting flash heals sporadically.

The blood elf sighed. "Women." Then he charged to defend his one-time girlfriend as a dwarf warrior snuck up behind her.

Korleigh could smell blood. It was coming from the direction of the bar. She grabbed Keliene's arm and hoisted the other Dark Ranger after her, heading to where she could hear the sounds of a battle: a druid roaring, priests healing, mages chucking spells or blinking out of the way, and warriors, rogues, and death knights like herself hacking away.

She entered the bar and gasped. On the floor to their immediate right, Naililei was sitting in a chair and picking glass shard out of the side of her face, a helpful stranger healing her after she plucked out the shards.

To their far back left, a massive battle was raging as the rowdiest RP guild on all of Azeroth, made entirely of men, was combated by Careldia, Thirasha, a blood elf, and various other bar patrons who had a bone to pick with the Whistling Flagon guild.

Shrugging, she hefted her bow and started shooting, Keliene following suit with arrows she enchanted on the spot.

She'd incapacitated fifteen of the guild members with groin shots when Patakka came in, her eyes widening. No doubt all she'd wanted was some beer.

Patakka's eyes narrowed. Her dual-wield swords found themselves in her hands. Roaring, the beer-thirsty pandaren leapt into battle to fight her way to the counter, where the bartender was cowering behind the wooden obstruction.

Patakka jumped over the bar, landing next to the scared witless bartender.

"Badlands Bourbon." She growled, then was gone.

Shaking with fear, the bartender dodged flying bottles, misaimed arrows, and stray spells crawling towards the basement to get the bourbon.


End file.
